I need you to pin me down

I've not been posting these past two weeks due to preparing for and then being in the US, first Research Triangle Park, Raleigh/Durham, North Carolina (my fourth visit) and then Deerfield, Illinois (both as glamorous as they sound). Yes, I did have my laptop (and free wireless, European hotels take note) but frankly what with jetlag, the time difference and training all day I was only just able to stay awake long enough to check e-mails most evenings, or else having an ice cold beer seemed more important than blogging.

One thing I finally pinpointed on the way out, thanks to an American Airlines stewardess, was a speech pattern which is prevalent in the US, but is likely to have a fingernails scraping on the blackboard effect in the UK.  The air stewardess announced that they were about to start selling duty free on board, and if anyone wanted pay by credit card then "we need you to show another form of ID".  I don't think I am speaking just for myself if I say that when I hear that someone "needs me to" do something, without a please or a conditional tense attached, I immediately want to do the opposite.  A British air stewardess would have said "please could you show another form of ID." 

I asked the various American participants in the training sessions why this speech pattern is so prevalent, and they came to the conclusion that it is because in the US, if you want someone to do something, you have to make sure they understand it is a requirement, otherwise they won't do it.

I tried Googling to see if anyone else has commented on this speech pattern and found that apparently in the film "You, Me and Dupree" there is a line "I need you to do a solid".  I shall remember this each time I hear this kind of request again, and I will no doubt be looking suitably British and constipated in response.

Comments

[Tom Freeman]

Maybe it's also partly a way of allowing the speaker to deflect any blame for the request - "If it were just me, I'd give you it, but it's the system, dude! I need you to show some ID!"

I was sent on an entirely useless 'influencing skills' course last years, in which we 'learned' that there's a hierarchy of ways of making requests. From the weakest to the stongest, it goes:

I'd appreciate it if you'd do X.
I'd like you to do X.
I need you to do X.
I expect you to do X.
I want you to do X.
I insist that you do X.

(This knowledge has transformed my life, needless to say.)

Note that "I need" is the strongest one you could get away with without actually being the other person's boss/spouse/arresting officer.

[Pernille Rudlin]

Blame deflection definitely makes sense as a reason - in which case I am surprised we don't say this more in the UK as we love avoiding blame. And the fact that this has become part of a training course could explain why it has spread across the US. By the way I've just realised that the quote from You, Me and Dupree should have been "I need you to do _me_ a solid", which I think you'll agree is even more annoying because of its emphasis that a banal or tedious act is being requested as a personal favour.